This is the thirteenth of a 14-part series that relates about the negative effects of low self-esteem.

In this chapter, we will try to discover some the factors that contribute to the most self-deprecating consequence of low self-esteem.

Low Self Confidence

Low self confidence refers to a person's lack of trust or faith in himself and his abilities.  This condition doesn't necessarily stem from a person's lack of ability, but it is most often the result of unrealistic expectations or standards of people around him, especially his parents.

Low self confidence, like the other negative effects of low self-esteem, has its roots from family the family system.  Child who are brought up with a solid assurance that they are loved and accepted are usually confident and they feel good about themselves.  But if either or both parents don't give a child enough room to learn to become independent, that child will have a big tendency to believe that he is incapable.

Parents who encourage their children to become self-reliant and accept them when they make mistakes are actually working to build their children's self confidence.  Parents' attitudes towards their children are therefore crucial in shaping their feelings about themselves.  One of these is the assurance of love and acceptance for who they are.  Children develop a healthy self-esteem when they feel that they are loved and accepted unconditionally.

Some signs of low self confidence include i) Fear or high concern of the opinions of other people, ii) fear of unfamiliar situations iii) self-depreciation and failure to acknowledge compliments, and iv) pessimism or negativism.

Can You Overcome Low Self Confidence?

Self confidence is a state of mind.  While high self confidence and low self confidence have contrasting effects on your mind and personality, they are actually the same energy that is used in two contrasting ways.  You can overcome low self-confidence by changing your very outlook of yourself.

Here are some of the ways to overcome low self confidence:

1. Think positively about yourself.

Consciously think positive about yourself by being aware of your thoughts.  Every time you begin to think negative thoughts about yourself, you should stop and change your thought to positive.  Develop this habit until it becomes natural to you.

2. Learn to be assertive.

You should learn to speak up for yourself.  There's no other person in the world who knows your needs better than you.  Do not depend on other people's opinions when it comes to your own needs, values and principles.  You are your own best friend.  You should stand up for yourself all the time.

You can also learn to become assertive by taking assertiveness trainings.  Some of these are even available online for free.

3. Identify your strengths and master what you do.

Every person has his strengths and weaknesses.  Identify them both.  Learn to accept your weaknesses and develop your strengths.  If you are good in numbers, strive to pursue a degree where you can use your ability like accounting or engineering.  If you are working, strive to master your work.  This will make you an authority in your trade and people will respect you for that.  You will realize your value when you know that people are looking up at you for your abilities.

4. Take pride in your accomplishments.

Your may have small goals at the start but as you accomplish them one by one, you should take pride in them.  You did it.  You just proved to yourself that you are not incapable of realizing your objectives.

5. Learn to say "No" when you mean "No" and be emphatic about it.


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