This is the tenth of a 14-part series that covers the negative effects of low self-esteem

In this article, we will try to share some insights about a consequence of low self-esteem that can harm a person's healthy relationship with a loved one.


Jealousy is an emotion.  It usually refers to the feeling of insecurity and fear for the loss of a person or something that you love or care for.  It is more of a threat than a reassurance in a relationship.

Sometimes, jealousy can become an indication that you think you are not lovable enough.  An unfounded fear of losing the person you love makes you manipulative of your loved one. 

The feeling that you are not lovable enough is a sign of low self esteem.  It makes you feel threatened when you see your loved one set his attention to someone or something other than you.  This makes you greedy of his or her attention and it makes you want to take control of your loved one and your relationship.

When put in the right perspective, jealousy is a natural part of a relationship.  It is a healthy emotional response of a person who truly loves and values another.  But it should be kept in check otherwise it becomes a toxic emotion with lots of unhealthy effects, like emotional distress, fighting and separation.
Jealousy is not confined in a romantic relationship alone.  It can also occur in work relationship, friendship, family relationship and other forms of human interaction.

There's nothing wrong with jealousy if you express it as a healthy way to protect a relationship, and if your feelings are based on facts.  But if your jealousy stems from suspicions and unfounded reasons, you need to address your emotion before it can wreck havoc to your relationship.

Here are some tips that can help you to overcome jealousy.

1. Acknowledge that you are jealous.

Being fully aware that you are jealous will help you to evaluate your feeling based on what you see and not on you how you interpret them.

What you see are facts.  You should base your evaluation on them.  Your interpretation can be guided by your emotions, the most common of which is fear of loss or abandonment. 

2.  Work on your self-esteem.

People with a healthy self-esteem are confident of their worth.  They don't feel the need to manipulate the people they love in order to feel assured that they are loved.

3. Stop comparing yourself with others.

There is only one you in this world.  Trust in your own qualities and strengths and accept your weaknesses as a part of your being a normal human being.  Don't take your weaknesses as a thing that makes you lesser of a person than others. 

Everyone has his own weaknesses to deal with.  Be proud of who you are.  Feel worthy for what you have and what you aspire for.  Remember, you are not lesser than any creature in the universe. 


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